Mary's shame and suffering

The Bible paints a beautiful and wonderful picture of Mary, calling her highly favored. She is chosen by God, righteous, holy, and set apart to give birth to the Son of God as a virgin. That's all fine and great. But one of the most striking understated truths in the gospels is that Mary was probably not perceived the way we see her by the people of her day.

The Untimely Birth of Jesus

Jesus was born in a very unusual way to a virgin still betrothed to be married. Would you not consider this an untimely birth of Jesus? "Untimely" seems to be more fitting for the manner in which the Son of God was born.

18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. - Matthew 1:18 NIV

The Bible tells us that Mary was "found" to be with child while she was still unmarried. To be found with child meant that her womb was enlarged and her pregnant state was visible to the world. She was a virgin before God, but to the world, she was an adulterous woman.

19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. - Matthew 1:19 NIV

Her own fiancé, Joseph, sought to separate quietly when he found this out. It's interesting that the Bible mentions "quietly." By the law of Moses, Joseph probably had the right to stone his wife. But he was a good man and sought to quietly separate from her before God intervened and spoke to him through a dream.

Let's pause here and ask ourselves a few important questions:

• What did the people at the time think of Mary? How much pain did Mary really go through when the haughty eyes of the righteous looked down upon her?

• Would it not have been better for Mary to be pregnant after she was married? Nobody would have judged her.

• Why did God speak to Mary first and not Joseph? How long did Joseph have to deal with the shock and pain before God spoke to him?

• How much faith did it really take for Joseph to trust just a dream while Mary, on the other hand, saw an angel?

• During the 30 years where Jesus hadn't begun his ministry - How many times did Joseph doubt his wife's integrity? How much faith did it take on Mary's part to still continue to believe that he was the Messiah? What were the struggles of faith they had to deal with?

The Single Mom

I always wonder why Jesus was born to Mary, a single mom of some sorts. It's astounding to me that Mary walked around pregnant when she was not yet married, and this was by God's divine design and purposes. Could we show some more compassion to the single moms today? Was God trying to make a point here? He's not just the God of those who have perfect lives. He's the God of those who have broken his laws; he's the God of those who have lived lives that do not reflect his perfect will; he's the God of both Israel (the chosen) and Jacob (the cheater).

How judgmental are we Christians to turn a blind eye to the suffering single moms? Jesus is here for the single moms, the divorced, the widowed, the neglected, the poor. He is so intimate with our pain. I wonder what He would do if he were here today - would he not skip across all the Pharisee-like churchgoing folk to meet and dine with those we reject and judge?

The 'Bastard' Child

I wonder how many times Jesus was called a bastard child as he grew up.

I want to remind us that it's really easy to look in hindsight and attribute hidden prophecies to the Messiah. But most commoners at that time would not have been aware that the Messiah was to be born to a virgin. Nobody had a Bible like us. Besides, have you ever wondered how hard it is to interpret the Book of Revelation? Prophecy makes sense when we look at it in hindsight. But in foresight, this can be so confusing that we often ignore these poetic, strange writings that don't seem to make sense.

I wonder how many people mocked and laughed at Mary's defense that she was a virgin. I wonder how many times Joseph thought she was lying. Besides, Joseph was expected to trust his wife with just one dream he received from God (Matthew 1:20).

This was no ordinary birth. The bastard child was probably his second name as he grew up. If the devil persecutes unrighteous you and me, don't you think it must have been incredibly hard for the Son of God? Was he not called a man of sorrows? I wonder if that was also because of the unspeakable mockery that he had to face.

You're Not Alone

At the pinnacle of his suffering, Jesus cried out and pleaded that the cup pass from Him. For 30 years, God had prepared Him for this moment to die on the cross. Jesus referred to his death on numerous occasions to the disciples. He knew that this was God's divine purpose and plan from the very beginning. Yet in the moment of grief and deep sorrow, the Son of God pleaded that the suffering end. The tears of blood were pain from the deepest part of his soul.

37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” - Matthew 26: 37-39 NIV

Sometimes we do not know the why of our suffering. Sometimes it's persecution, sometimes it's our own sin, and sometimes the reasons are never clear like in the case of Job. But one thing that you and I must never forget is that we should hold fast and rest in His arms. He understands our pain. He understands when we want to throw our hands in the air and give up. He never leaves us nor forsakes us, and even in our unfaithfulness, He remains ever faithful for that is His nature.

The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked. - Proverbs 24:16 NLT 2 Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. - James 1:2-4 NASB